Trump Orders Alcatraz Rebuild for Violent Offenders

Why Rome Fell

Trump Orders Alcatraz Rebuild for Violent Offenders

U.S. President Donald Trump In a move that seems equal parts PR stunt and historical fanfic, President Donald Trump has ordered the revival of Alcatraz, the infamous island prison, as a holding pen for ‘America’s most ruthless and violent offenders, in San Francisco Bay, California. The prison, once known for housing some of America's most notorious criminals, closed in the 1960s. The directive includes plans to substantially enlarge the facility to detain 'America's most ruthless and violent offenders', with involvement from multiple federal agencies like the Department of Justice, FBI, and Homeland Security.

Alcatraz was shut down in 1963 for the same reason most of us stopped using AOL CDs... it was outdated, expensive, way too difficult to escape once you were in, and the growing sense that it was all a bad idea to begin with.

The island’s remote location made everything, from food shipments to flushing toilets, an exercise in logistical masochism. It cost over three times more per inmate than land-based prisons, even back then. Today, it’s a national park and tourist trap, managed by the National Park Service, not the Bureau of Prisons. So turning it back into a functioning lockup would mean bulldozing through layers of environmental law, historical preservation, and about fifty years of bureaucratic inertia.

And then there’s the small matter of the buildings being ruins.

Let’s not sugarcoat it: Alcatraz isn’t “run-down.” It’s post-apocalyptic. The main cellhouse? Nearly 100 years old and decaying thanks to:

Salt air erosion
Earthquake vulnerability
A roof that leaks like a whistle
Lead paint, asbestos, and mold for ambiance

The New Industries Building (where the prisoners worked) has literally no roof anymore; just a rusted skeleton open to the sky. Guard housing and admin offices? Caved in, gutted, or entirely missing their tops. Entire sections of the prison resemble a zombie movie set… because they’ve been left to rot for decades on purpose, for tourists who like their history damp and crumbling.

If you handed this facility to OSHA, they'd declare it a sacrificial site and go drink until they forgot it ever existed.

Reopening Alcatraz as a prison would mean:
Bulldozing vast swaths of the island
Rebuilding from scratch with modern materials and secure infrastructure
Adding things like power, plumbing, staff quarters, and ferry-based logistics
Spending hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to turn a symbol into a stunt

It’s like saying, “Hey, the Roman Coliseum used to hold prisoners and gladiators, let’s turn that into a supermax.” Same energy. Same crumbling walls. Same lack of a roof.

And just like the Coliseum, Alcatraz is now a monument, not a tool. It was designed for a different era, and what's left of it has been hollowed out by time, tourists, and sea spray. Bringing it back wouldn’t just be expensive... it would be cosmically stupid. Same acoustics, too... just imagine the screams echoing off 2,000-year-old stonework. Just SCREAMS efficiency.

This isn’t criminal justice reform, it’s cosplay for authoritarian nostalgia.

If you're thinking, “Well, maybe it’s symbolic,” sure. But symbolism doesn’t feed prisoners or staff. It doesn’t stop lawsuits when a roof caves in on someone. And it sure as hell doesn’t make ferry-based inmate transfers efficient.

Remember The Rock (1996)? Cage, Connery, VX gas, explosions, you know the one.
Even back then, the concrete walls looked like they’d been in a fight with Poseidon and lost. The flaking paint, corroded rebar, and exposed wiring weren’t set pieces, they were just... Alcatraz. And that was 30 years ago. Back when Sean Connery could still choke a man out and Nic Cage still had unironically glorious hair.

Since then:
Three more decades of saltwater corrosion
Millions of tourists tromping through it
No structural rehab aside from Band-Aids for safety
Zero protection from climate or common sense

Today, it’s not just “not up to code”, it’s a tetanus trap wrapped in red tape and sprinkled with bird shit.

Trying to shove modern inmates into that is like converting a haunted Toys “R” Us into a nuclear silo. You could build five functional prisons with that money... on land, with functioning toilets and maybe even a Dunkin' in the staff lounge.

Alcatraz is a relic. Let the dead prison lie.
embalmed in rust
entombed in bureaucracy
and best visited with a camera
not a court order.